Hangin' around at B.B.'s sippin' mouthwash on the rocks
Tryin' to look sexy and keep the spooge off my socks
There's so many gorgeous men here all looking to get laid
And guys who'd like to marry you if you are not afraid...

Now me, I've got a husband but this word he did say:
D. I. V. O. R. C. E. My actions were to blame
So now I'm cruisin' the BlowBuddies scene
Searchin' for a throat I ain't met
Because I'm not exactly married but we're not broken up yet

Now if I was into flirtin' it'd be with someone like you
But I came here for just one thing: Don't talk; just do
Your name is not important; let's cut to the chase
You sure know how to treat a man
But please don't touch my face...

You're into camping, opera and taking moonlight walks
You can never love me if you never hear me talk
Only one man knows me well enough to love my sweat
And we're not exactly married but we're not broken up yet

Got myself a damn good job like I was supposed to do
With life insurance policies, got health and dental too
On the line where it says "spouse" I wrote my partner's name
Thank God it is androgynous so I won't take the blame...

Six months later when the bill comes hospital claims fraud
Seems the head administrator was a man of God
He said, "Two men can't marry." I said, "You wanna bet?"
Though we're not exactly married we haven't broken up yet